Shifting Identity For Massive Changes In Your Health With Sherry Shaban || WBWL EP 70

In this amazing guest podcast episode, I invite Sherry Shaban, an amazing health and transformation coach to speak about identity.

Our commonalities is that we both gone through car accidents, both left us in chronic pain, and both found our own way to healing.

A large attributor to her becoming pain free and to embody a stronger version of self was through identity change.

It’s hard for us to shift our identities because of judgment, clouded thoughts, past negative experiences, and deep enrooted belief systems that often lead to self-sabotage.

We are sometimes our worst enemy, but we can also be our greatest alliance for better health.

Transcript

0:01

All right. Welcome to the Won Body Won Life Podcast. Hi, I am your host, Dr. Jason Won lifestyle, physical therapists. As you guys know, I already talked about many things from pain relief, strength, mobility, habit change, lifestyle change. And I have a extremely special guest, Sherry. And Sherry is just somebody that I've actually been able to get into her podcast. I feel like we have a very mutual connection, very genuine yeah. I guess core connection around just how to just live a much healthier and more robust life. So welcome. And Sherry, how are you? I'm well, Dr. Jason. Thank you so much for having me here and happy to be back on and reconnecting with you. Absolutely. Sherry, why don't you just tell people a little bit about yourself and then we'll dive into our topic. Yeah, sure. So I'm a health and life coach and a DO. I'm a doctor of osteopathy and I'm based from Montreal, Canada. And I got into the space almost 25 years ago now, which I'm like revealing my age to everyone now, but I got into the space. Actually, I'm going to say a little bit by accident. And the reason I say that is because growing up, I was super involved in sports. I was what I guess would consider a very athletic child. I was very competitive against all the boys and I played. Practically anything that I could possibly get my hands on. So I'd compete against the boys when it came to pushups or trying to run faster. And by the time I got to high school, I was playing varsity sports. And so that was really my identity. I was shared the athlete. Everyone saw me in that way. And then when I was 16 years old, when I was in high school, I got hit by a car and that completely changed my life because I ended up having to see a doctor. I was in a lot of pain at the time, and it was this pain that just got more and more intense as time went by. And it got to the point where I wasn't even able to shower on my own. And so by the time I got to. Go back home to see my parents. I was in boarding school at the time. I was told that I had severely damaged my spine and I needed emergency surgery. And after that surgery, the doctors told me I wasn't allowed to play sports again. And I listened to this advice for a long time, just finding myself now engaging in a new environment and a very different social environment. The one that your parents tell you to not engage in while you're growing up. And I did that for many years until one day it was my early twenties. I just. Had this night after partying and I was like, who is this person? This isn't me. I could not relate with who I was. And it was actually at that time that I decided to sign up at a local gym. So despite doctor's orders, and despite the fact that I was on pain medication, really to get through the day I signed up at a gym and then just started to copy people around me. I didn't even know what the movements were for, what they did. I just stayed consistent. And in a matter of months, Jason, I was actually able to overcome the back injury. I was able to overcome the chronic pain, get off the pain medication. And that's when I decided to shift career directions. I was actually doing a master's degree in chemistry at the time, and I got into athletic therapy and then just. History just continues. And I became a certified athletic therapist. I got into osteopathy and since then have helped people also overcome limiting beliefs, help them manage injuries and really create the person that they've always envisioned that they would be awesome. That's such a good I think that's why I brought you on here too, is because we have that kind of like mutual understanding of overcoming our own pain issues. I've spoken it before how I got into a couple of car accidents, very consecutively. And a lot of doctors, chiros, a lot of people were telling me you have a crooked spine, you have scoliosis, you have early disc degeneration. These are just words that were fear mongering. And it left me at a place where I was fearful. I had to like just sit up tall all the time. And I was afraid of loading my body. Up until I started to learn things exactly like you started just dabbling around strength and. Optimizing nutrition, my habits, changing my mindset overall. And that's what, that's where I think both of us are successful. So I guess that kind of leads us into our topic, which is shifting identities for massive changes in your health. I know those words sound very enticing for a lot of people. And it sounds I think a lot of people, they may have a sense of. Man, that seems just like way too much, like how like just basically people in the world. We're so caught up in the quick fixes. We like the things Amazon sends us things within two days. So tell us, why don't you have your own definition of Sherry? What is it? Identity and why do we need to essentially change our identity in order to see long term success with our health? Yeah, so good. And, coming back to my story and, just again, growing up as a child who is an athlete, like that was my world. That was my perspective. And so everything that I did came from that identity of me being an athlete. I had to be strong. I was resilient. It was all about the training. It was always really about focusing on my fitness, focusing on what my body could do for me. And then after the surgery and especially after the doctor said to me you have a damaged spine. And now you are a person with a back problem. Then my whole world became a person with a back problem. And in fact, that was my whole world, actually, during that time where I was on pain medication every single day, that by the way, did very little for me, my whole world was, okay, what kind of chair am I going to sit in? What kind of car will I sit in? And if I would go to a party, I'd always have to ask the host, is there a place for me to lie down? So I became the girl with a back problem. And again, that imagine how that limited my social life. Imagine how that limited a lot of things that I wanted to do. I needed help always to carry something or to lift something or even to just be super mindful around how long I would sit down for. But it was the moment that, like I said, I woke up that one day and it was just this massive aha moment of this is not me. This is not within my alignment. I never even saw myself even becoming this person and I wanted to be that athlete. I wanted to be that person that I always envisioned myself to be. I even remember when I was a young girl, I just even remember just picturing my future and seeing myself training people and seeing myself always being very fit. And here I was. Living a life that was the complete opposite of that. And so going back to the gym, I'll have to admit when I first signed up and just started copying people around me, I was experiencing pain and there was these moments of am I doing the right thing? And of course, you have the voice, the doctors in your head telling you, you're not supposed to do that. You're going to injure yourself further. And so there was just this very delicate sort of conversation I always had in my mind. And what came out of that Dr. Jason was just this concept of the difference between real pain and fake pain. And so real pain for me is pain. That's always there. It's that chronic pain. That's constantly there. It's nagging. It's what is there that wakes you up at night. It's just constantly there. No matter how much you rest, no matter how much medication you take or what exercises you do, it's always there in the background. Whereas fake pain is that type of pain that ends up going away the moment you stop your activity. And so I use that little indicator to be able to push myself and to really learn even where my limits were to help me transition into that identity and just really reconnecting with self. And so we get our beliefs or we get our self concept or identity. from what people say to us and what we believe we are. And that really comes from just confidence. And so by reconnecting with who you are, you're really your true nature and what is, what it is that you want to create in your life without the influence of others is the best way to really reconnect with the identity that you want to create. And the identity is created, and that's what's really powerful. We don't have to wait for people to tell us what to do or who to be. We can create it simply by aligning with that energy, aligning with that ultimate vision, and then making the movements to then step towards it. Yeah. So powerful that you just said. I wanted to share the definition of identity, which I had this popped in and the definition of identity is the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. So when you got injured you were probably identified with exactly, not just who you were, your, who you were was changed and altered. And your perception of who you were changed by Your previous experiences, what other authority figures said to you, and that's why I think that doctors and even us practitioners, we have a very vital role in helping someone. or actually pushing them the opposite direction. I think there was a lot of doctors and I completely disagree with a lot of doctors that, the first thing they say is let's get an x ray. And then all of a sudden you show them the x ray and you're like, you're bone on bone. You should not run. You should not do this. Guess what? They're not in the health field. So guess what? They're going to believe you. They're going to internalize that and they're going to be like, I am a disc herniation. I am a, back pain, surgical survivor. And I think that identity fees pushes people in the wrong direction because your identity then reflects on their beliefs, your beliefs, then reflection on the actions or inactions that you take for yourself. So there's a lot of people that get stuck with, severe symptoms of their disease, or they get stuck as a back pain survivor. And I think that if you can shift that identity towards a person Instead of thinking I'm a back pain survivor, I am a strong mother. I'm a person, I'm a person that can crush it. I'm a person that regardless of my diagnoses, I can do anything and all things. I think that's where, that's what we're saying is that you shift, you shifted your identity and that's who made you a coach. That's what made you a great practitioner. And just kudos to you for the journey that you've been on. I guess the next question here for a lot of people is How do people at the actually, are there actually steps to shift into a different identity and maybe there's not, maybe it's different for everybody, everyone has a different road, but what would you say that like somebody that's really trying to figure out how do I change my identity? Oh, so good. First of all, it's getting a clear vision around what it is that you want to create. And this has to also be realistic. It has to, again, be something that inspires you. And the word inspiration really comes from inside. It's really something that moves us. And then the other thing that I would say is being super mindful around how we use the words I am, because whatever we say after I am, becomes our self concept. It becomes our identity. And just like you said earlier, Dr. Jason, we're. Whatever we believe about ourselves subconsciously throughout the day. Those are the actions that we take to continue to support that self concept. And so we have to be so careful even when we're joking, when, even when we're trying to just make fun of ourselves and saying things like, I am so forgetful or I'm such an idiot or I'm so done. Those words are so powerful. Language is so incredibly powerful. And so starting there, and I would say reverse engineering and first really creating awareness around how do I describe myself? Because if I've just started a routine at the gym, I just signed up with a trainer. I started a nutrition plan and I'm doing all the work, but in my mind, I'm I keep continuing the thoughts. I'm such, I'm so weak. I'm so lazy. I'm so fat. I'm so I can't do it. I've tried it so many times. I'm it's impossible. And these, this is the dialogue. There's a massive mismatch there. So it's not about what we're doing. It's about who we're being. And so instead, what we do is we realign the internal dialogue to match what it is that we're going to want to create. Now, this sounds very simple, but of course, it's a challenge because it's daily work. Why is it daily work? Because we continue to have experiences every single day. And so if we're being mindful, if we are very aware of our thoughts, understanding that every single thought that we have creates chemistry in the body, literally every single thought that we have creates A hormone in the body as a final product, which we call an emotion. If we understand that, and we understand that even as an example, when we have a sexual thought, just something that we can all relate to, there's certain areas in the body that tend to respond to it. We'll imagine what happens when we have self deprecating thoughts. There's certain areas in the body that tend to respond to it. And we trigger the nervous system into sympathetic nervous state, which of course now continues to have the body to work against us and so reverse engineering, our thoughts just first becoming aware of our thoughts and then creating empowering ones. And as we create the empowering ones, what's really important to actually create as I am statements are really statements that we can connect to. So if, for example, I've struggled with my weight for 30 years and I have a lot of diseases that come along with that. I'm not going to start to create, I am statements that are going to reflect the six pack. We're going to reflect the 6 percent body fat because there's just a massive disconnect. So maybe creating identity statements that are more connected to where I am now, and then continue to work on. Because that's a practice. And as we continue to practice, you'll see that you evolve and you continue to expand and you push yourself to the point where you get to the next step and the next step, and then ultimately to that final continuous destination. Yes, absolutely. The, I am, I was going to go into that too. It's like, when you say I am, that is a much more powerful statement than I try to, or, and inversely you say I am a procrastinator, you can simply just say, I, I identify as a person that tends to push things off, but if you want to change your identity, you need to start taking actions towards that. I was going to say that when you have actions can, if you cannot say to yet, like I am a person that works out seven days a week, you can still take little tiny action steps towards becoming that person, but you have to start finally making that shift. So when I say like little tiny action steps, I think about two ladders. And I think that one ladder. It's these like super, let's say this ladder traverses up to a two story building and that ladder only has six steps. So you have to take a large, massive steps and you cannot, you can barely even reach like the next peg versus little tiny action steps. You're breaking that down into like hundreds of little tiny action steps, which surmount into better habits, which surmount into a different identity. So even just you. Let's say you're a person that maybe is overweight and you haven't worked out a long time. Simply you can start making little tiny action sets by just putting on your running shoes and then going for a walk for one block and then coming back home. And as you do that, you just simply start to increase, gradually expose yourself to more stress. And you can finally start to shift your identity into a different person by simply just doing that. And I guess one of my favorite quotes is motion is emotion. Yeah. So when you actually put your body into motion, it's like you're, you start smiling, your body feels better. So I think that's why we're both pretty big proponents on exercise. Tell me a little bit about some of the things that you identify as, right? So you went from a person that was seemingly felt fragile. You felt. Yeah. You felt decrepit, you felt you felt weak, you felt uncertain about your future after surgery, after your back injury. So tell me about some of your identity pieces and how did you shift? I'm resilient. And I think that's probably the, one of the most powerful things that I remind myself of every single day, whether that's in my business, whether that's in my. My social life, whether that's in my personal life or even in just my fitness life. And so just finding something that is so true to you. And what's so interesting about this concept, too, is sometimes, let's say, if there's this one area of life that we're struggling with, let's call it health and fitness. For example, if there's that one area of life that we're struggling with, We can also use our identity from another area of our life to transfer on over to this area. So let's say you're working on your health, you're working on your weight, and you've struggled in this area for a long time. Shift your focus to another area of your life where you were resilient, where you did establish a new identity, where you really did crush it and remind yourself of that energy, that feeling. feeling. What did it feel like when you did that? And if you were able to do that in one area, you're going to be able to do that in another area. And that's just transfer of energy. And remember that how we do anything is how we do everything. And if we can embody that feeling again, that feeling is what drives the chemistry in the body. And now we can start to take actions to continue to embody that particular emotion in that area that we are struggling the most for sure. I did that just You know I've always said that my, my sister and a lot of people used to make fun of me because they're like, Jay you're going to be that type of person that always wants to learn is always going to stay in school. So I was just constantly like going to UC Davis and going to grad school, then doing more stuff after grad school, then becoming an orthopedic specialist. And they're like, yeah, you're just gonna be that person that just, so I was always. seemingly addicted to health. I always loved fitness. I was addicted to always just being in the gym and that's how I identified. It's just that person that, okay that looks new, that looks apart, that strengthens. I didn't know anything about fitness or sorry, business. That's exactly what I did was I knew nothing about it, but I used. My resilience that I, and my persistence I used in the gym and I started just to learn more about finances and taxes and how to even start a business. And ultimately I think we're all trying to improve in all aspects of health, but I can say definitely that I took exactly what you just said and translated it into a different sector that I knew nothing about. And I know that's uncertain for people. But, you're creating certainty through resilience and other aspects of your life. And I think that's just a really good tip. Have you ever heard of affirmations? And, do you use affirmations? Do you tell your patients about affirmations? I'm just curious. Yeah, affirmations are very powerful, very similar to I am statements, and they also are very powerful in the other direction when we use affirmations in negative way. And so again, it's just creating mindfulness around what we are so connected to and what we want to create. And so affirmations start with an I am. At the beginning, and then there is a present tense. So I am creating, and then there's an emotional component in it. And so notice how everything that we're talking about right now in just the last 10 minutes was around creating emotion, embodying an emotion, being mindful of the I am statements, and then really being present because identity is the present tense. It's not, I'm gonna be, or I used to be. It's really where I am right now, but it's very powerful. And again, the most important thing to really have these different types of exercises and tools that we're talking about work is for you to really be connected to it as though it's your truth. Yeah, for sure. Tell me a little bit more about specifically what you do. And I know we, I guess identity pieces, I help a lot of people with getting rid of pain and I do that through teaching them about identity shifts and habitual changes. You also talk about, things that in regards to eating disorders and how people can shift out of that. Tell me a little bit more around the strategies and the strategies around how you help people. People that essentially overcome some eating habits. What would you say to those types of people? Yeah. So I help people, mostly women overcome unwanted eating behaviors, such as binge eating or emotional eating or mindless eating by really addressing the nervous system. And so this applies to also self sabotaging behavior, whether that's using cannabis or overspending or using alcohol or any other substances to really cope with emotions. But my belief and through my practice and my experience and study is that. When we are locked into what I call protection mode, which is a sympathetic nervous state, then our body's always going to seek out survival. And the way that the body seeks out survival, we look at it as self sabotage, but what the body's actually trying to do is to help us really not die, not perish. And so when our thoughts are Which, by the way, trigger our sympathetic nervous state, when our thoughts are driving that particular nervous system state, that's where we start to see that we have more cravings for sugar. We have actually more cravings to eat. Anytime we are in sympathetic nervous state, we turn on this natural mechanism that we have that helps us actually conserve energy. And the way that the body conserves energy is by first slowing down the metabolism, really making it hard for us to release stored energy, which is stored as fat, and then also driving us to overeat. And because we live in a modern world where food is very readily available and we have lots of foods that deliver a lot of energy in a very small amount, those are the foods that oftentimes we are driven towards. And of course, those are the refined foods, those are the processed foods. And so what we do instead is instead of really focusing on controlling and restricting food to help us release weight, to help us really get a hold of our nutrition. We actually work on the nervous system when we are experiencing binge eating or emotional eating or any unwanted eating behavior. You'll notice that the more you try to control food, the more you're stuck in that pattern, because by controlling food, the body again sees it as a threat. It feels like it needs to protect itself. And so that binge mechanism is still activated, but by learning how to shift the nervous system, a lot of what we shared already today, Dr. Jason is exactly that, how we speak to ourselves, the type of energy that we're carrying. When we are in. Sympathetic nervous state or protection mode, we have thoughts that worry us. We have thoughts that create anxiety and stress and different emotions that really make us feel like there is doom around us, but when we are able to actually control the thoughts and we're able to start to think about thoughts that are more calming and then shift the nervous system to parasympathetic or what we call safety mode, that's where we feel more calm and when we feel more centered. The body doesn't have a need to hold on to stored energy and doesn't have a need to drive us also to get more of that energy to store it. Absolutely. And so do you find that there's strikes a balance in how you teach people with teaching them about their identity and identifying as a person that, you know, that, that doesn't. That doesn't binge eat, that doesn't have a disor and then also, I've also read the book Intuitive Eating, where basically, you're not trying to restrict yourself so much so that three months later you restrict yourself from your favorite food, which is blank, and then all of a sudden you just decide to binge eat because you haven't had in a while. So I've heard of just giving yourself essentially unrelenting permission to binge eat. Have some of those things while also keeping in mind, the types of foods, obviously the healthier foods that you should be eating. So how do you strike that balance and how does identity play into that as well? Oh, such a brilliant question. And I'm so happy you brought up intuitive eating. So many people suffering with some sort of emotional disturbance around food or let's call it an unhealthy relationship with food. food. Intuitive eating is not the first step because if right now I'm in protection mode and my body keeps telling me have more sugar, finish off the box of Oreo cookies, eat the pint of ice cream. I'm going to be, oh, I'm intuitive eating and I'm intuitively eating and I'm intuitive eating more ice cream. And that's not really the goal, right? But instead it's really first thinking about how can I actually Be aware of my thoughts. How can I be aware of the emotions? And now protection mode has a set of thoughts and emotions and actions that go along with that nervous system state. And then safety mode has also a set of thoughts and emotions and actions that go with that nervous system state. And so the first step is really to learn how to create awareness around what's going on and then shift the nervous system To safety mode so that there are no thoughts to eat those types of food. And that's where now intuitive eating comes in because you don't crave those foods when you're in a nervous system state that doesn't actually seek out survival and now the identity piece. Now this is really important because most people that are struggling with unwanted eating behaviors. The majority of the thoughts in their mind are self deprecating. I'm a loser. I'm an idiot. I'm so fat I'm so disgusting and now we are triggering protection mode Like if I called you up, dr Jason and I started swearing at you and started calling you all kinds of names you'd be ready to attack me like what's going on Jerry, why are you talking to me this way? That is sympathetic nervous state. That is the body's natural desire to defend itself now But we're doing that in our mind All day long. We wake up in the morning, we look at ourselves in the mirror, and then we give ourselves a daily dose of that. And then throughout the day, we don't even want to look at a reflection. That's another dose of that. And then we go on a diet, but we go on a diet thinking that we need to punish ourselves for what we look like. And that's a very different energy than changing our nutrition because we love ourselves because we want to push ourselves because we want to honor our body. And so coming back to just this word intention, this is so important. What is the intention behind why you're changing your nutrition? What is the intention behind why you're exercising? Most people exercise because they're punishing themselves again, through not being okay with what they look like. And the thoughts are not again, rewarding. If you ever sit down and listen to any athlete speak, let's Muhammad Ali, for example any athlete that you admire, listen to their conversation, listen to their dialogue, listen to how they describe themselves. They don't say I'm a loser. I'm the worst. I suck. No, they say I am the best. I am the greatest. Right and that's the difference that is the identity piece that plays into the trigger of the nervous system state Yeah, the awareness going back to awareness and I want to go back because you have your expertise I have mine and just helping people with pain. I tell my clients the same exact thing in regards to awareness If somebody's sitting down at their desk, they're feeling some neck or back pain erupt and many people have neck and back issues at the desk, a lot of times they'll get very emotional oh here the pain comes again, this is going to be me for the rest of my life, my doctor said, I'm bone on bone in my neck, and this is how I'm going to be, and I always say, it's simply just be aware of the pain. Be aware that you're feeling pain and now objectively do something about it. So instead of getting emotional, which then you mix emotion with pain, that heightens the pain experience, and then therefore they start to feel more helpless. They start to curl up into a ball. the increased sympathetic nervous system drive. So everything starts to cortisol secretion, all that, right? So I say, just bring awareness that, okay, make it objective. You're a five out of 10 pain. Okay, cool. Now calm yourself down. Now breathe, be aware. Now breathe, take a breath because that's going to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. Now you can decide based on the things that Dr. J showed them. Now you can simply do exercises and relief strategies to now be in full control of that pain rather than paying in control of you. And I think that I guess translates to the people that have these like intrinsic intrinsic indulgences and things that they seemingly can't control, but you're saying that like identity along with just changing the nervous system, that's a huge piece. And we can't just simply just tell people. Objectively do this. It's not as simple as that. We have to change the identity. We have to change the nervous system. Yeah. And again, daily practice and just coming back to what we were just talking about. You can't heal when you're in sympathetic nervous state. That's why we want to shift to parasympathetic. And it's interesting because. It becomes this vicious cycle. So we have this unwanted eating behavior that is driving us to eat all of these foods that are creating more inflammation. And now we're feeling bad about ourselves. So now the thoughts are now re triggering sympathetic nervous state protection mode. And now again, we're eating those foods. And so there's a cycle and a lot of them, a lot of the people that I work with also have chronic pain, hold a lot of chronic pain, but when we are in sympathetic nervous state, chronically stuck there, the body's not healing. The body's not resting and digesting. So there's constant inflammation and now we're feeling it globally. Yeah, for sure. So shifting gears into let's shift gears into maybe even the habit side of things, right? So you talked about just, you have to do things with intention. You have to do things frequently. So why is frequency of action so important? And I guess that's a very generalized question, but. I have my two cents on like frequency and why that's so important. But as far as like frequently either coming to your coaching calls and constantly hearing or like frequently taking actions, why is that so important? And why is it so important? in terms of not slipping backwards. So good. So consistency is actually what drives results, not intensity. And this is where we actually have it backwards. So when it's New Year's resolutions, notice how we actually dive right into intensity. I'm going to train seven days a week and I'm going to train for two hours every day, even though right now I'm completely sedentary, but the consistency part gives us this feedback of confidence. So what I'll always say is start with even five minutes. I get you want to be able to run an hour, but just start with five minutes because if you can consistently show up for five minutes, what you also tell yourself is that you're always committing to yourself and the more that you repeat something over and over again, that's where it becomes a habit. That's where it becomes a pattern. That's where it becomes a part of your identity, because ultimately your character, your identity is the sum of all of your habits. And so over time, then you can ramp up, you can increase the intensity. And so if you look at my training volume, I constantly have consistency. I'm by the way, I'm an anti diet advocator. I don't count my macros. I don't weigh out my food and I'm at 15 percent body fat. And again, just because I have consistency and I'm so in tune with what my body needs that day. But the more you establish the consistency, the more your body also gives you those messages. Now, looking at what I was saying, my training volume earlier, that means on some days I may do more than other days, but that's again, the consistency component. Some days, maybe my body only wants yoga. Other days, my body wants to go run for two and a half hours. Some days, my body feels like hiking. Other days, my body just wants a four minute Tabata. And so when you establish the consistency, that's also where you start to see the volume over time. Whereas when we're focusing on intensity, the focus is always on how much. And sometimes the body doesn't have that same 100 percent on a particular day that it had on a different day. And so by allowing yourself to just stay consistent, allowing yourself to be flexible and adaptable is what's going to keep you committed over time and allow you to really listen to all the signals that your body always gives you. Yeah. I talk about this word capacity and people are like, what the heck is capacity? Just look like at a battery and the battery has a certain amount of milliamps and that's the capacity before it dies out. I think just going along with what you're saying, we all have a specific capacity of load and how much our body can tolerate. So a lot of my clients, they keep repeatedly hurting themselves and injuring themselves because. They don't have a good sense of their capacity. They're like, Oh, I'm going to do the same thing that I did 20 years ago and dive straight into three mile runs. And then all of a sudden they hurt something. So frequency is where, if you're taking just small action steps every single day towards getting your tennis shoes on, going out for a run, or let's say you're trying to get back into weight training, you just start off with lightweights and just being more in tune with what your body needs. Frequency allows you. To have that intention to not think about like just the all or none mentality, but instead adopt more of an all or some mentality. So the days that you feel more stressed out or tired, you bring something to the table, right? And it's just about even Consistently showing up and doing something versus even the days that maybe you're feeling better, then you bring a little bit more. And I think that's what you're saying and how you train as well. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. And even when I was training for Ironman, I trained for time and not for speed or distance. So let's say my run was an hour that sometimes looked like crawling. Other days it looked like I was a cheetah, but I ran for that hour. And so whatever my body was able to do that day, that's what I allowed it to do. And for that reason, I was able to train for the year, 20 hours a week, practically without any injuries and still be able to stay consistent with my training. Perfect. Just going into that identity piece and making sure that people. Maybe to, to the end of this is having something concrete to shift that identity. So do people think about just forward engineering where they're just simply just starting saying, I am present tense and I am going to do this, or do they reverse engineer and just start taking action? What do you, which do you feel is like most important? Yeah, this is so good. And so I have this exercise that I share in my coaching and really it's this, it's the sun that you draw out. So you draw it a circle. And then you draw out 12 rays of the sun, and then inside that circle, you draw out your goal. And your goal is really that highest vision of yourself. It's not even something that you want to do. It's really that person you want to be. So start there. Who is it that you want to be? What type of person is that? What is that identity component? Don't even worry about where you are right now. Just who is it that person that you want to be? And now that you write out that person that you want to be now, out of those sun rays, just write all the little emotions or the things, the activities that you would be doing when you are that person. Okay, what you can see that person actually doing and creating and feeling and being and all those things in their lives. And then now asking yourself, okay, so that's where I want to go. But where am I now? And so if you notice, okay what are the thoughts I have now? What are the emotions I experience now? What are the activities that I do now? Do they match that version of that son that I want to become? And so by understanding first again, like if I was right now, I'm in Montreal. If I was to drive to Toronto, I can put it on my GPS and I know that I'm going to drive to Toronto. So I have the direction. I know exactly where I'm going to go. Now, how long is it going to take? It should be about five hours. However, I've driven to Toronto before and I had two flat tires on the road and it took me 12 hours, but I was still on my way to Toronto. And so you need to have that destination. And then from there, from that being, from that energy that you're wanting to shift towards now, start to write the habits. What are the habits? Do you think that person is doing on a day to day basis? Now, if I'm not really sure, what maybe I'm going to call my friend, Dr. Jason and ask him, Hey, what time do you wake up in the morning? What's the first thing that you have? What do you drink in the morning? What's the first thing that you, how do you eat? How do you move? And I know Jason, you got like some exercise equipment in every single one of your rooms. I heard, let me get some ideas from him. And now I can start to try on one habit at a time. And now this is called habit stacking. You try on one habit. How does it fit for size? Okay. Once you've mastered that, once that feels comfortable, when you've applied consistency first before intensity, now move on to the second habit. And so your identity and really that self concept becomes the sum of all the habits that you're stacking. And so again, starting with that end product, that end vision of where you want to be, does it resonate with you? Does that align with you? Discover what the habits are there. And then start to slowly move towards that. I love that. I think I'm going to steal that from you if that's okay. Oh my goodness. I'm just going to be a thief and just absolutely just steal that and employ that with my own clients. I think something that I've done in the past and it's a spin. It's not as, it's not as beautiful as your son. The son analogy, but I simply, a lot of times if somebody just wants to simply change who they are, I take the, this biopsychosocial approach. I have people just write on a piece of paper. Yeah. What are some of the positive negative thoughts you have about yourself? What are some of the values that you've had from either your past experiences? What you've learned from your parents, other authority figures, what are your beliefs or your past experiences that surmounts into? The current situation that you're in and that, that situation could be again, eating disorders, diabetes, chronic pain, whatever it is. And once they actually write that out there they start to bring again, it's bringing more awareness to, wow, I wrote that on a paper. I didn't know I had those thoughts. And they really start to think deeply about that. Once they do just put it, put a line in through the piece of paper, start to actually take actions on that. So based on this negative thought, yeah. I'm going to take this action based on this positive thought. I'm going to continue this action because this is something that I don't want to give up. It's a positive habits in my life. And I'm basically just taking your son and putting it more into like just an Excel spreadsheets, everything. Yeah. But that's what I actually did for myself when I when I was more like, a lot of people know this, but I was extremely overweight. I was a person that I think identified as I'm just the coach's son that made all the teams because Cause my dad was a coach kind of thing. And I started to shift out of that by simply, again, started to change my identity. I started to really take massive actions towards open up encyclopedia, learning more about nutrition, exercise. And but yeah, I think overall, if you can just take these more concrete things that me and Sherry just said, and I hope that can simply start to shift your identity. I really like the sign of creating the overall vision of who you want to be, Who are the IM statements you want to put into that sign and simply just having a bunch of race to take action on. Yeah, but I guess going lastly, Sherry, maybe for just the audience, what are some of your IMs? What are some of your identity pieces? And I'd love to, for people to know who you are. I also love to share a little bit myself, but. Just what are your identity pieces and what kind of makes you, I am resilient. I am powerful. I am one with the universe. I am one with God. I am the creator. And so those words and really just those five that I'll say in the morning is just so incredibly connected to all the things that I want to create the way that I want to show up. And so I would always say, and I always suggest that as you create your IM statements don't focus so much on what you want to do. Okay. But focus more on who you want to be, because again, how you do anything is how you do everything in your life. And to be honest, I have these little candle holders and they're the seven chakras. And for every single chakra, I will light a candle and I will do a few I am statements as well for them. So for the first chakra, I am grounded and I'm fully grateful for where I am right now. And for the second chakra, I am attractive and I pull towards me all the people that need and require my support. And for the third chakra, I am powerful. I'm resilient. I'm a force for good. And for the fourth chakra, which is heart is I am love and I am abundance and I'm a money magnet and money loves me. And for the fifth chakra that's throat. Yeah. I am fully an expression of who I am and I'm fully speaking my truth. And then for the sixth, then you talk about wisdom and intuition. And so I am wise and I'm intelligent and I'm capable. And then for the final chakra crown, I, I am God and I'm spirit and I'm one with God and I'm one with the universe. And so those really speak to me. And the reason I shared this is because if that speaks to you, I invite you to go ahead and try that. But if you can find the I am speaking to you specifically, it doesn't matter how silly that sounded. I just said that publicly doesn't matter how silly it is, but if it connects with you, it really changes your whole day. And I recommend doing that in the morning and doing that every single time you have any self doubt. Anytime you feel that things are hard and things are challenging. Just remind yourself of how resilient you are and how really you are here for a purpose. And you're here for something so beautiful. And so connect with that and just take a step to move towards that. That was beautiful. And I also have a couple like I am statements and believe it or not, you just reminded me that I do actually have a tattoo that says I am. And then it has a bunch of tags. It goes I am passionate. I'm hungry. I'm strong. I am yours and that I belong to Christ. And yeah, overall, like just. Having that identity piece is so critical. I identify just like you. One of the things I say is like I'm resilient. I'm strong. I'm, I'm a strong father. I'm one of the most passionate coaches. Ever, and regardless if there's other people that are better than you, regardless, it's more about just you staying in your lane and being who you truly want to be. If you can live up to your absolute potential in every aspect of life, that's all you can really do. And I think just having, just giving the audience a sense of. Truly making changes is what I really wanted to do on this specific episode. So I really hope that people having a sense of who we are as people, who we are as coaches and doctors but also just having some concrete, this is what you can do to actually shift yourself from a state of fragility, disability whatever, you fill in some of the statements, I'm a crap procrastinator and as to shifting away from that, I really hope that this episode can really give you a sense of concrete to do's and also identity and creating a different vision for yourself. So for Sherry, we end this. Is there any other statements or words of advice? Anything else you want to leave the audience with? Yeah, I love that. And by the way, this has been such an awesome conversation. I'm so grateful to have it with you today. But I want to say that no matter where you are, no matter what you're struggling with, it is never too late. It is never too late to get started. And it's never too late to shift your identity. I see this every day. I know Dr. Jason sees this every day. I work with people in chronic pain. I've worked with people who struggled almost their entire life with overweight and wherever you are, the more that you believe those around you who are not trying to do what you're doing and who haven't already done it. the more you're going to stay in that place. And so the one advice I'll always give you is don't listen to anyone who's not doing what you're doing or who isn't already trying to do what you are trying to do. And so again, staying in your lane and really surrounding yourself by those who inspire you, by those that you want to move towards, those that you want to really model and really create the same energy in your life, that's going to be the most important thing for transformation and for change. Yeah, if you're looking at two people that have overcome their own trials and tribulations, look at us too. Everybody is going to have a different story, a different narrative, they have different chapters to their books. But if you're looking at Sherry, who overcame her back issues, me, who overcame obesity also overcame a sense of chronic pain. I think you always look towards us as people that you can always reach out to. To get guidance from and Sherry also has her own podcast as well. And that's how we actually connected. So I wanted to invite her on just to bring value to this podcast as well. So I guess just to end this year, Sherry where can people find out more about you and how can they find you? Sure. So Instagram is the easiest place at Sherry Chabann fitness is my handle. You got all kinds of links and resources there. And then if you've listened to this conversation and you are struggling with unwanted eating behavior or other self sabotaging behavior, I have a free download for you@makepeacewithfood.Com. Awesome. I'm going to end it here, Sherry. I hope that we have continued conversations and continued relationship going forward. I'm going to end this podcast with the way I always end it. We only have one body, one life. Make every action you take, make one to be the best version of you. So take care of Sherry and have a beautiful rest of your day. Thank you so much, Jason. I loved it.